Doesn't even qualify as science fiction

"Connie and Carla" is one of the most painfully bad movies I have ever sat through in my entire life, plain and simple. It starts out jaw-droppingly weak and proceeds to get worse, much worse, and by the time it reaches its mind-numbingly pathetic conclusion, I absolutely couldn't wait to see the words "the end" flash on the screen.

The premise, of course, isn't original, I knew that going in, but I really like Toni Collette and I was hoping perhaps Nia Vardalos would do something creative with the idea, but no such luck. For openers, and most importantly, since it IS the plot: there was absolutely no way on earth that anyone who wasn't blind or deaf could have possibly believed that Vardalos was male, since she does NOTHING to alter her behavior, her voice or her appearance. In fact, I think that even blind and deaf people would have sensed it as well.

None of the characters bear any resemblance to a human being, although Toni Collette does an amazing job of implying a real person. This is a major feat, considering that she is given literally NOTHING to work with.

The film might have been a shade more successful if it had been played as a complete farce, making it perhaps almost possible for the viewer to suspend disbelief. Instead, Vardalos makes the proceedings even more insulting to any viewer with half a brain by adding 'sensitive' little subplots - like one of the cross-dressers trying to rejuvenate his relationship with his straight brother, played by David Duchovny, who is also - of course - Vardalos' love interest.

In fact, the most painful scenes involve Duchovny and Vardalos - scenes where he has to stand in close proximity to her and act like he believes she's a man. What's he doing here, trashing his career (along with Debbie Reynolds, who completely defiles herself in her brief-but-not-brief-enough appearance)?! Perhaps he was hoping to mine his experience in the science fiction genre, but this claptrap doesn't even qualify as science fiction, which generally has some form of intelligence at its core.