For Best Portrayal of a Rabid Dog...

..the Winner is...Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast, hands down (and panting on all fours). Ben also wins the award for Best (and most frequent and creative) Usage of the "c" word, which plays a major part in this outrageously deranged and always thoroughly entertaining (even at its bloodiest) full-frontal bombast of a film.

The plot couldn't be any simpler: retired gangster Gal (yes, that's his name) is happy lounging around the pool at his Spanish villa with the woman of his dreams and a drink in his hand. But the big bad brutal bulldog Don (Kingsley) has been sent to convince him to do One Last Job. Gal says no. Donnie doesn't like this answer. Violence ensues.

To say any more would be a disservice; this movie has to be experienced, not explained. Suffice to say, the brilliant performances (Ray Winstone and Ian McShane in particular) and the amazingly slick editing make every second of Sexy Beast a kinetic foray into surrealism and a tour de force of epic proportions for Kingsley. So why are you still bloody sitting there, you steaming c***?!!! Go rent it now.